I’ve been paralyzed by fear for months. And I’m a grown woman. A forty-one-year-old woman who has a million thoughts, feelings and a belief that my thoughts and feelings may be of value. Thoughts and feelings which shape decisions that have ultimately led to this little thing we’re over here doing called life.
Our life.
Which everyone seems to do a little differently, and I think that’s about the coolest thing we’ve all got going for us, as we hurtle through the universe on this spinning sphere.
I get asked questions on the regular. Questions about homeschooling. Questions about plant based eating. Questions about living in Georgia. Questions about living in Ohio. Questions about my politics. Questions about parenting. Questions about my faith and values. Questions about traveling. Questions about paper dresses. Questions about photography. Questions about what Mayhem is wearing. Questions about encouraging creativity. Questions about tennis. Questions that never end.
And I love it.
And I have so much so very much that I’d love to share.
But.
I also have fear.
And it’s a hang up. Because it revolves around who’s going to be offended. Because someone is always offended.
If I talk openly and honestly about the reasons we’ve chosen to homeschool, then there are people who see it as an attack against public and private schooling. It’s not, btw.
Chat about choosing primarily plant based eating, watch the eyes roll, the heads shake, and the backs turn.
Parenting? Fuhgetaboutit.
I’ve written more blog posts that have never seen the light of the publish button because I worry that someone will take offense to my experiences in life. Some posts have been banished to the trash bin, while others live as untitled drafts for the rest of eternity. Purgatory for blog posts, if you will.
Let’s read that again and realize just how ridiculous is sounds. I AM WORRIED ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING OFFENDED BY MY LIFE EXPERIENCE.
I’ve tried editing. To the point where the story no longer has substance. But taking away the details feels like taking away the message.
But I’m tired of being apologetic for living a life that I’m pretty happy with. I have good days and atrocious days, I have amazing experiences and shitty ones, just like everyone else. And those thoughts and feelings that go along with all of those experiences, are mine to share. Or not.
So moving forward, there will be more sharing. And no less apologizing. Because this is my life, not a guidebook for anyone else. Just me sharing what’s working and what isn’t over here on my little speck of the universe. Things I may find hysterical or heart warming or gut wrenching. Things that have me thrilled and things that have me fuming. Things that I’m stoked about or things that may be keeping me awake at night.
And my hope in sharing more is that someone, somewhere, may feel a little less alone in whatever thoughts and feelings they may be experiencing.
That’s it.
More living. More sharing. Less apologizing.
Onward.
Good for you! I enjoy reading your thoughts and views and while I don’t always agree, I greatly admire you as a mom and wish I could do some things over with my grown kids, with your example to guide me.
Thank you so much for that kind comment. I’m a big fan of reading about other people’s experiences that are entirely different from my own, because it generally gives me a new perspective. Like you, I may not always agree, but it always helps to remind me that the world is a very big place and we’re all having our own experiences 🙂
What Sheri said! 🙂
YAY for you! I believe when people follow a blog they like to hear a fuller story. Less varnish, more depth. If a reader does not like what you are writing they are free to stop reading, click off, unfollow. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde — be you — everyone else is taken.
Ahhhh – I love that quote, thank you so much! And I couldn’t agree more, because I generally simply click away when I find I’m reading something I don’t care for. Less varnish, more depth may just become my new life mantra – thanks 🙂
My daughters are: 27, married with 2 kids (yay, grandbabies!); 25, just bought her first house; and 17, one more year of high school. We’ve homeschooled, public schooled, and charter schooled (depending on the daughter and what worked for her). One thing I still tell them: this is how I do it, but you need to do what works for you. It’s okay to have differences, it makes life more fun. ?
Oh gosh, I SO love reading this! I think it’s so very important to develop a sense of “this is how I do it” without any expectation as to that being how everyone else should do it. And I think it’s amazing that you utilized all different types of education with the priority being what was best for each individual daughter. Even within homeschooling, we’ve changed what we’re using and how we structure our days to best fit what’s working for Mayhem. And I couldn’t agree more that having differences is what makes life fun. Enjoy those daughters and grandbabies!!!
Thank you Angie! Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for sharing Mayhem with us. Thank you for being honest. I have been struggling with this myself lately and I feel as though I’m censoring myself because of how others *may* feel about my opinions. Think you for the reminder to live more and apologize less.
Yes – that’s exactly how I feel! Like I’m constantly censoring myself or apologizing for how others MAY feel. It’s exhausting and I’m kind of done with it, so glad to hear I’m in good company 🙂
I’ve thought about blogging myself, and face a similar mental conversation. It’s unfortunate that some people’s buttons get pushed when you’re sharing your thoughts and experiences, and take your choices as challenges against their own life choices.
This quote by Dr Seuss also seems appropriate in your situation:
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
So ask your questions. Share your experiences. If people get hostile, find a way to filter them out. But be genuinely you. 🙂
Yes to all of this! And please don’t let it stop you from giving blogging a go – I’ve found it to be very therapeutic over the years, to write things down just for myself. I find that we’re at this odd time where it almost seems like many people are specifically looking for things to be offended by. So despite the fact that I feel more comfortable and confident in my own decisions, I’ve held off sharing due to negative energy that the ‘offended’ bring to the table. Sometimes I feel like it’s not worth my energy and other times I feel like I’m wasting what I have by not sharing. Such a conundrum.
That is a big conundrum for sure. I’m still considering blogging — just have to figure out my approach. 🙂 I love following you and your journey. 🙂
I wish there was a way to mitigate the negative energy and hostility that can come with sharing thoughts and opinions.
Keep up the good work. 🙂
I’m glad you’re going to continue with “few” apologies. I love reading your posts and agree with others that if someone is (heaven forbid!) offended, they can choose to not read. Kudos to you!
I always look forward to your posts! Your life is yours….no apologies necessary!! Just keep doing what your doing. You are raising an amazing little girl!
Yea!!! I love reading things you write – and I’m glad that you aren’t going to let fear of someone’s opinion to hinder you. If you haven’t yet, you should totally read Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis – it covers a lot of these themes of not letting the fear hold you back.
Some of my very best friends are people who don’t share any of the same fundamental beliefs as me. But it doesn’t make me love them any less. We’re likeminded in all the ways that matter to our friendships. Unfortunately it seems like no one looks for common ground anymore. And there is almost always SOME common ground to be found. I’m here to learn about your life experience, not to convert you to anything. Forge ahead fearlessly!
Just as it should be.
Like, Iike, like most all comments plus yours. I’ve really enjoyed learning more about your creative, cute daughter & your family’s goings on! Keep on, keeping on? Nothing to fear but fear itself, walk away from it, be “you”, of which I love!
Im giving blogging a third go and this time im taking my time to do it right. I have always been scared of what I write may offend people or what im doing is not aggreable to some when it comes to my kid. Ive had people question why I want to do what I want to do but you are right. No more fear of offending. We cant please everyone.
Thank you for this post! It helps to know there are people out there feeling the same things too. You are great! ?♥️
Well said!! You have nothing to apologize for. We love you for who you are. Enjoy your and I mean your life, not trying to please someone else.
I have been following you for years, Meyhem sparked my interest when she started making her paper dresses, i couldn’t believe my eyes, and her talent potential! It has been nothing but pure joy watching her grow into this beautiful little human! We are all proud, we should never apologize for being ourselves. Now as a parent, you have inspired me to be less worried about the glitter mess and allow that creativity to flow! So thank you! And thanks to Meyhem too.. and btw, thanks to your posts, now every special little human in my life gets a peekawho, because that is just the best darn baby gift ever! Sending love and support to you and your family.. all the way from San Diego, CA ??