This post is sponsored.
“Didn’t you wear that yesterday, Mom?”
Encouraging and embracing Mayhem’s wild (to me) sense of style was not my default response. At first.
I went to parochial school back before going to parochial school was cool. And uniforms were mandatory. Truthfully, it took the guesswork and a whole lot of fussing out of our days because there wasn’t a question as to what we’d be wearing. A plaid skirt/jumper and a white shirt was the only option.
I attended a public high school and the agony of choosing what to wear each day set in. As much as I had always thought that wearing a uniform was horrible, the reality of trying to fit in or keep up with what was “in style” mixed with a lot of self consciousness to make those four years my least confident. I never “learned” about fashion and I always believed you had to spend a lot of money to be stylish. Money we didn’t have. That’s what I thought, anyway.
To this day, I prefer having a bit of a uniform. I wear the same earrings everyday. I have a few pair of jeans that are my favorites. Solid color shirts are almost always the norm. I don’t wear heels unless I feel forced to. My hair generally looks the same and day to day. And my makeup routine is exactly that … routine.
Mayhem is appalled by this. And as much as I’d like to claim that I’m being efficient for the sake of success (per the likes of Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg and Matilda Kahl), that wouldn’t be entirely accurate 😉
Mayhem, on the other hand, has a particularly creative sense of fashion. She’s never met a scrap of fabric she didn’t like. Or seen a fabulous shirt that she didn’t think could double as a skirt. It’s not uncommon for her to turn things inside out or backwards if she feels like it would look better.
Pants and all.
But then I observed how she was feeling/acting when she’d wear the ensembles she put together on her own. And it’s a confidence that I don’t ever want to see slip away from her. She’s fiercely imaginative and tends to be much more at ease when she’s happy in what she’s wearing. Whether that be head to toe leopard print or a pair of leggings as a shrug.
Fairy wings for grocery shopping is not uncommon.
“OMG, MOM!!! You’re going to love this one – she can wear flat shoes!!!”
That was Mayhem’s response to being introduced to the new Fashionista collection from Barbie. And she was right – I do love that some of them can wear flat shoes. (High five Barbie!) But what I love even more is the variety I see in the 23 doll collection. And that hasn’t gone unnoticed by Mayhem either.
Mayhem was quick to point out that one Barbie (with curly hair) looked exactly like a high school senior client of ours (at our photography studio) while another looked like one of the gymnastics coaches at her gym.
Then she scanned the lineup and said “Oh, hey look! That one looks like me! See – light brown hair AND brown eyes. I like her outfit too.”
It then took about 2.5 seconds to have all of their clothing off so they could trade outfits.
“Hey Mom – I need you to help me build this runway!!!”
I thought she was building an airport. Silly me.
“We’re having a fashion week fashion show and we need a runway and I don’t know how to make it stay up.”
Oh. THAT kind of runway. Gotcha.
“And can you help me make new outfits for the girls too? Pretty please.”
So I sat down on the floor with my girl and we chatted while we constructed a runway and new paper threads for her new Barbie pals. I asked her what it is about making clothes that she likes so much and she told me that it’s fun.
When I pressed the conversation a bit more she told me that different outfits are like different pictures in her coloring books. And that she uses different colors on every page so she can see what she likes best.
Then Mayhem took over the questioning.
“How come you’re not really a fashion girl, Mom? Don’t you like trying new stuff?”
Ouch.
I explained to her that fashion just wasn’t something that I spent a lot of time on while growing up. And then I followed that up quickly by telling her how much I’ve enjoyed learning about fashion just from watching her.
Our conversation shifted to how different things make different people feel good about themselves. Some people like to play sports, some people like to do art projects, some people like to build stuff, some people like to make music and some people like to design things.
She told me she likes to do all of those things. AND be a fashion girl. Then she added, “That’s OK, right?”
“You bet!”, I assured her. “In fact, you make me want to be more of a fashion girl myself because you make it look so fun.”
And with that, our Barbie fashion show ended and a new one began.
“You and Dad always say that change is good,” she said as she got to work on me ….
And she’s right. We say that a LOT around here.
Change is good.
Like changing clothes. Or changing environments. Or changing jobs.
And 23 distinctly new varieties of Barbie is most definitely a very good change 😉
Disclosure: Thanks to our friends at Barbie for not only sponsoring this post, but for introducing kids like Mayhem and moms like me to an updated version of the fashion doll. Opinions are, of course, my own … but Mayhem and I are truly impressed and big fans of the Fashionista collection. Flat shoes for the wiiiiiiin!!!! 🙂
Wow, mama – you look beautiful in the picture where Mayhem is styling you! You are doing such an incredible job fostering her abilities, teaching her to be herself and stay open to all of the amazing differences that make people interesting! You girls are an inspiration to me every day!
thank you – we really appreciate the kind words! 🙂
It’s awesome that Barbie is expanding their line to show beauty in more ways than they have in the past. What concerns me is that the only thing they’ve changed is the face and hair – that super-skinny, thigh-gap, impossible waist, big chest model is still the norm, and that still isn’t what real women look like. So, you can have different hair and a different face, but you still have to be gorgeous and impossibly structured to be beautiful? That’s sad. One step forward, two steps back.
I do, however, love your conversation with Mayhem about fashion and how people are talented in different things, and also interested in different things. She’s already a smart little girl, with an eager and talented mind. Helping her form those social skills and embracing others’ talents and skills is pure magic. The world needs more mothers like you! 🙂
Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply, I truly appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your views!
What’s been really interesting for me to observe is that kids (Mayhem and some friends daughters) have absolutely NO issues with Barbie until someone (usually an adult) tells them there is something “wrong” with her image. Mayhem specifically has no idea what thigh-gap is and she honestly and truly looks at her Barbies as tools she can use to play with and get creative with. She also has several other dolls of various brands/images and there isn’t a single one that I find to be accurately proportional. I personally am not raising Mayhem to look to Barbie as a symbol of what beautiful is, but rather as encouragement towards the idea that a girl can do anything she wants to do.
I’m sure many people will disagree with me, but I believe that we (as parents and adults) often create issues for our children that they otherwise wouldn’t have (if we didn’t). I don’t believe that Barbie’s proportions are realistic anymore than I believe that Mayhem’s beloved Snuggle Bunny is a realistic representation of a rabbit. But I do also believe in letting her play … and having good conversation with her along the way 🙂
Again, I totally appreciate and respect your opinion – thanks for taking the time to comment!!!
Your reply is SPOT ON!!!! I wish more people thought this way. I don’t think I need to write anything else because I literally couldn’t agree more. Barbie has done a great thing adding variety but this shouldn’t be a young girls role model for life. I think Mayhem will be a very confident women who makes a positive impact on the world because I truly believe in the values you share with us that you say you believe in and follow! YOU GO, FASHION GIRLS!!!!
I’m enjoying following your life with Mayhem so much. Great truth there in how much happier we are when we are comfortable in our choice of clothing (style as well as fit). You are such a wise mom…I’m in awe! Keep it coming and thank you!
Thank you so much! And I totally agree about the style AND fit!!!
Beautiful Mom, beautiful daughter ! Hoping one day to have a granddaughter as spunky as Mayhem. What a joy ! (I have one son, but he got married two months to the love of his life, so a grandchild may very well in my future !)
Thank you! And fingers crossed for a sweet grandbaby for you 🙂
I already commented on fb, but I also have to say something in here. This photo of you with Mayhem is beyond beautiful. You look so seriously touched.
Thanks so much, I really was touched. It’s a very special thing to have your own girl just want to spend time playing with you and I do my best to not take those moments for granted.
Flashback to when she “fancied” me up last fall!
Lovely post! I say it every day and I’ll say it again: YOU ARE A GREAT MOM. And she’s a great kid! Glad you two found each other 😉
She’s quite the stylist, no? 😉
And thank you time a million!!!
Mayhem is such an ambitious, smart little girl. Love reading her stories – keep ’em coming!